Why breakups are good for you

Although your usual has never steered you wrong, until now, you never got the chance to see how it was not even close to being the best option on the menu.

You have to remain confident in yourself when someone lets you go and you must love yourself enough let someone go. At the end of the day, life is a never-ending stream that comes and goes.

So we must understand that there are people, places and things that come and go with it. Breakups are always a good thing because it gives us a chance to either become a better person, rid a toxin out of your life, or put into perspective who should really be in your life.

There will always be pain when you lose an investment of the heart, but if we choose to learn from that pain and see the loss as an opportunity to become better, you will see how breakups are not as bad as you envisioned. Stop torturing yourself with that horrid breakup playlist and give your liver a break from the whiskey on Tuesday mornings.

See the split as a benefit and use the space as a platform to be a better you. Try this simple "copy paste" text message to get her intrigued, and thinking that she made a mistake. By Joshua Eferighe Highly opinionated, contentious and one to always speak his mind, Joshua Eferighe has been on the path of expression through writing before he even chose the profession.

Love him or hate him, you'll always want to know what he has to say. Follow him on Twitter jman23j. Generally speaking, you can meet a woman anywhere. I want to turn things around with her so we can be a LOT more than friends.

I'm cool being friend zoned by girls I want to date. Connect with us. View your next breakup as an opportunity to better yourself.

It Was Not Meant To Be Breakups are always a good thing because it means there is room for someone new, better and more compatible in our lives. Download Now. Continue Reading. Click to comment. Why did I need to grow? The most important thing to me at the time was having that relationship because it had been the one thing I had craved and the one thing I had been missing for most of my adult life. My entire identity was wrapped up in being in a relationship and as it was my first and I had so much love to give, I have it all to the other person, completely ignoring myself.

We become part of a couple, leaving no room for personal development, which leads to life becoming somewhat stagnant Picture: Kaye Ford. You hear about people in new relationships who are sometimes ignoring their friends for months at a time in favour of spending time with their partners. You hear about people rejecting job offers or slacking at work because their relationships are more important. We become comfortable and settle because we have achieved the one thing that our hearts desired, but the bad thing about that is that it leaves no room for us to grow as people and achieve our goals.

In my case, it has taken me two and a half years to finally understand how stagnant my life had become. After the breakup, I was a broken woman with no partner, no money and no job, but the one thing that kept me sane was attending to my blog. In the six months of job searching, I continued writing as a form of self-care and kept commissioning photoshoots with my Universal Credit money. I finally found a job in PR who were impressed by my blog and the skills I had gained within it. From there, I was promoted and this helped dramatically with my self-esteem.

I was still trying to work through my depression and heartbreak and used my blog and social media as a way of dealing with the trauma. Through that, other opportunities arose with my writing and blogging and I continued to work hard.

The fact of the matter is: breakups can be good for us. But in all seriousness, breakups are good for growth and good for the soul. Breakups allow the truth to finally surface, whether it be your own truth, or the truth of others and how they feel about your relationship. Either you will be reborn with the wisdom gained from the experience. Or, maybe your relationship will be reborn into something more evolved and more fruitful after you and your partner learned the hard and necessary lessons.

It is what you make of it. And we as a culture have taken the universal ideas behind them for granted. It really is what you make of it. And if you experience a breakup as a negative in your life, only then will it begin to manifest as a true problem.

Viewed through this lens, a breakup can paralyze you and your growth in its tracks, making you only focus on the bad stuff or the things you wish you could have done differently.

This pain in turn leads to a feeling of regret that often leaves us playing the role of and feeling like the victim. When we play the victim, we surrender our agency because we approach our experience as something that happened to us, instead of it being something we were complicit in. And when it happens to us, as opposed to for us, we learn nothing.